THE JOURNEY
πPiluca
A reflection of πPiluca’s personal journey of self-realisation, surrender, sheer determination vulnerability, grit and passion
After a painful separation, a frightful global pandemic, lockdown and confinement, first time counselling therapy after childhood trauma and trying tirelessly to keep her children protected from any negative consequences from all these circumstances; the artist, unwillingly, entered a painful yet rewarding journey of self-discovery and surrender.
All the pieces shown here, are a reflection of this process. A turning point in Piluca’s life, not only on a personal level, but also in artistic direction and style.
The artist describes this moment in her life as a ‘monumental event’ where she has found the truth about who she really is and surrendered.
She likes to analogize this journey as that of a butterfly’s metamorphosis process. A necessary process of struggle to emerge out of the cocoon by forcing fluid into its wings to stretch and open them, a development that can’t be rushed or altered.
THE EYE OF THE STORM
Acrylic and Plaster on Canvas
51cm x 40cm
Sometimes people travel to a foreign land looking for escape, only to discover that nothing has changed. That is because there is one thing that the old place and the new place have in common: yourself. Wherever you travel, there you still are.
BEAUTIFUL TURBULENCE
Acrylic on Plaster Board
37cm x 52.5cm
Emotional pain cannot be measured compared and nor truly described as it is a very personal and unique experience.
The awareness of a painful thought, event, memory or circumstance won’t make it easier if not the opposite, but it will give this pain purpose, and when pain is attached to purpose, there is an intrinsic duality which recognises the true essence of all existence.
And just as a physical pain averts us from malfunctioning in the body, emotional pain is also necessary in a journey of self-discovery.
HERCULEAN STORM
Acrylic on Plaster Board
58cm x 63cm
Confronting trauma, head-to-head, cuts deep. More so if this trauma has been ignored and pushed down for many years.
Not truer words were ever spoken than those of Publius Syrus when he said: “In nil sapiendo vita iucundissima est” or for a more popular phrase coined by Thomas Gray:“Ignorance is Bliss”.
It is much easier to live in ‘oblivion’ and shy away from the truth. Embracing the vulnerability to open to your own truth, however painful this maybe, is the most courageous thing I could ever think of.
PURPOSE
Acrylic on Plaster Board
58cm x 63cm
There is no pain bigger than my purpose. This determination is deeply rooted in the undying love that I profess for my children and my utter most desire to live a legacy of two well balanced, loving, kind and caring human beings. For my late brother who willingly lost the battle of life and for all those amazing souls who believe in me.
I WILL RISE
Acrylic on Plaster Board
55cm x 84cm
I have always held tight to the belief that a vessel at sea is the perfect analogy for our journey in life. In moments of turbulence, we must hold tight onto the ship’s wheel and make sure that we stay onboard, as the tide will calm eventually.
The storm may had steered the ship from its original course, we may be drenched and the vessel damaged, but the clothes will dry, the vessel can be repaired. Thanks to the storm, we can potentially learn new skills, become better sailors and the new route may leads us to new and more exciting horizons than those we originally anticipated or looked for.
choice point
Acrylic on Plaster Board
60cm x 90cm
I am no stranger to choice points, and this, perhaps, has been yet the most difficult decision I had ever have to make.
Shortly after lockdown in London started to ease, a succession of events and the undoubtedly timely advice and support from a dear friend, led me to the point in my life where I had to make a life changing decision. I could live the rest of my life in my “happy bubble” or remove my blinkers and confront the truth. And although I have come to many crossroads and life turning points before, this was without an inch of a doubt, the hardest one ever.
realisation
Acrylic on Plaster Board
63cm x 120cm
On the 12 th of May 2021, I reached out for professional counselling for the first time in my life culminating in my very first session, just 10 days short of my birthday. It surely felt like I was shedding my worn-out skin and being reborn. It felt as if just as my birthday approached, a new ‘me’ was about to emerge. The healing process had finally commenced.
dissociation
Acrylic on Canvas
30cm x 60cm x3
When someone develops complex PTSD and dissociation, it is their mind’s way of coping with an intensely traumatic experience. Learning about the way my mind has been coping all my life was in a way coming to terms with the fact that I really wasn’t sure of who I was and that the “happy Piluca” I always knew and cherished, was perhaps nothing but a coping mechanism. Suddenly, life seemed fragmented and felt as if I had nothing I could hold onto.
I didn’t know who I was, and that feeling was truly petrifying
reflexion
Acrylic and Plaster on Canvas
50cm x 100cm
An inevitable point of reflexion had hit me.
When everything you’ve always believed to be true about yourself disintegrates, when you feel like your body, mind and soul haven’t been connected after all, it feels like a leap into another dimension where all that one is, and all that surrounds you, remains visibly the same, but has in fact, altered its essence from the core.
DETACHED from self
Acrylic and Plaster on Canvas
50cm x 100cm
Whether I was always familiar to detachment in a psychological sense of the word, in order to be able to attain freedom from my past (which sarcastically, it was obvious now, always had the rains of my present), I had to learn to detach from the emotions, thoughts and energy that thus far I always thought entailed being ‘myself’.
SURRENDER
Acrylic and Plaster on Canvas
86cm x 120cm
The Bhagavad Gita, a basic text on the practice of detachment teaches us that acting with detachment basically means doing the right thing for its own sake and because it needs to be done, whether the outcome maybe: success or failure.
I started the process of letting go of any means of control and to purely surrender to life as it comes.
working with the tide
Acrylic on Plaster Board
64cm x 75cm
Most times what we believe is a menacing storm, is in fact the best ally to gets us ashore. The duality of Yin Yang has always played a big role in my life, but just as the saying goes: “the tailor’s wife is the worst clad”, it has taken me a while to apply all the literature and teachings I’ve read to myself.
faith
Acrilyc on Plaster Board
40cm x 58cm
It is something truly powerful that stems from the basic sentiment that is faith. When one relinquishes all responsibility over oneself by trusting that, if coming from a place of honesty, love and kindness, the universe will always have your back.
freedom
Acrylic on Plaster Board
37cm x 60cm
A dear friend made an observation when looking at this painting and said that “it almost looked like a chalice”. And how funny is that she pointed this out when this is the very last piece of the collection and what I felt was truly the end of this particular journey of realisation and self-discovery.
I could not translate this emotion better but with that of FREEDOM. My personal “Holy Grail”, a true state of liberation and undoubtedly the doors to a new, healed self.
∞complete metamorphosis
Acrylic on canvas
24cm x 29cm
Where there is a circle there is pi. A circle is a symbol that represent both completion and infinity.
The number π is a mathematical constant, approximately equal to 3.14159. It is defined in Euclidean geometry as the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. No matter how large or small a circle is, approximately 3.14.
π is an irrational number, something you can’t control. it’s infinite and ultimately unknowable yet always true and always reliable.